“i woke to find myself” (Christopher Barbour)

Like so many people here and around the world, I eagerly anticipated the broadcast of the Presidential Inauguration this past Tuesday. I was not disappointed. Notwithstanding the historical significance, one thing that struck me was the role of the arts. Visual and performing arts budgets are amongst the first to be cut in the midst of a financial crisis. Yet, we often turn to creative expression in times of turmoil, finding solace in a familiar melody or, perhaps, seeking new direction with a fresh composition. As song, music, and poetry participated in the invocation of a new era on January 20, I felt even more inspired to create and absorb.

That afternoon, I first saw the photograph (above) taken by a fellow Los Angeles-based artist, Christopher Barbour. There was something about the movement of the color and the title that captivated me, so I wanted to share it with you. Chris and I grew up in the same part of Virginia and, although our respective high schools and colleges were staunch rivals, we’ll put the feuding aside for today.

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Manisha: Can you tell me a bit about the photograph “i woke to find myself”?

Chris: I need to preface this by saying that I am not usually interested in explaining my work, because I want the viewers to have their own experience. I am a firm believer in getting out of the way, as much as one who creates can, and letting the viewer engage with the work by bringing to it what they possess in terms of their own memories, experiences, or feelings. I am not a didactic artist, nor is this choice out of arrogance. I just like the visceral purity of the viewing experience.

i woke to find myself is an image from the series unraveling the tapestry. The piece itself is a feeling to me. It is the way I see the world at times: the confusion and the beauty. A visual poetry of waking, like from a long slumber…and your eyes take a moment to adjust, but this is more about your soul taking a while to adjust to your reality, to your experience, to yourself. The moment between seeing and awareness. Much of my work is an investigation of this idea, this place.

The series was started a while back…maybe in 2003. It is a work in progress, as most of my projects are. They never seem to end, but that is because they are so heavily based on my experience of life. It’s like an autobiography lumbering away, searching through layers of meaning. For this particular series, I have drawn from other bodies of work creating a retrospective of sorts, a new dialogue about my experiences thus far.

Manisha: What is your process in terms of how you approach your photography?

Chris: I only use film and what you see is what I saw. I think more like a painter. I am interested in examining life and emotion through concepts utilizing formal qualities and the Japanese idea of wabi-sabi, which is about finding beauty in imperfection.

My work has many influences…painting, drawing, architecture, poetry, music. Music is a huge one. The way it transcends us. How it connects with us on an unconscious level. I love literary music. Lyrics and instrumentation that make you feel and think. Not all music can do this.

In fact, this series, unraveling the tapestry, was born of this lyric:

So in looking to stray from the line
We decided instead we should pull at the thread
That was stitching us into this tapestry vile
And why wouldn’t you try?

Manisha: As a songwriter, I’m intrigued, of course. Where are these lyrics from? Who wrote them?

Chris: Hmmm…I can’t decide whether to tell. My work is so personal in many layered ways and sometimes I fear it will divulge too much of me.

Manisha: I understand your not wanting to share too much about where the art comes from and your desire to let people have their own lens. I often feel the same way. But, as you say, it is not definitive of the art. Nor is it definitive of you. It is just a window.

Chris: Ok, well, the lyrics are from “Weather to Fly” by the band Elbow. I would like to clarify that the image, i woke to find myself, was taken way before I heard the song lyrics. The lyrics later created the framework for the series. The feeling and meaning of my work just seemed to fit so nicely with my understanding of the lyric.

I construct series – and almost all of my work – this way. I shoot images, live with them, and then a series comes together. If I have a series on which I’m working, obviously I shoot with it in mind, but I still live with the images for a long while, at times. Music, literature, cinema (though not as much lately), and my daily investigation of my place in the world all influence this process.

The image itself is definitely about awakening to oneself. Then again, so are those lyrics. I am glad they resonated with you.

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Since 2002, Chris’ work has been shown at various Los Angeles-area galleries, including Andrewshire Gallery, Urban Art Photo Gallery, Gallery 825, and LAAA|South. In 2006, he was one of 100 photographers selected out of 615 entries to attend the prestigious Review Santa Fe and, last year, he was invited to exhibit at Wallspace Gallery in Seattle, WA. Also, in 2008, he won the inaugural Irevelar competition at Naomi Silva Gallery in Atlanta, GA. Just a couple of days ago, he received an invitation from Naomi Silva to present a solo show at her gallery in 2009.

Chris is presently offering a limited edition print sale, which includes i woke to find myself. To learn more about his journey and his work, please visit his blog and website.

What Chris said about “the moment between seeing and awareness” is something I haven’t thought about very much. For me, that moment is like the space between dreams and reality – when everything is in slow motion. Yet, most of the time, I want that moment to pass quickly, because I’m focused on waking up and obtaining clarity. In my effort to gain awareness, I’m sure I have missed the beauty of the fog on numerous occasions.

As always, thanks for reading. Your thoughts are welcome.